day 3

Today is day 3 of absolutely no freaking processed shit food.

And, shockingly, I feel pretty damn good. Actually, I should take that back (the word shockingly.) I’m not shocked I feel good as I’ve eaten “clean” before and have ALWAYS felt good as a result. I guess what’s so shocking for me is that I’m still crazy motivated.

***

Backing up a bit, I’m a good 75 to 100 pounds overweight and have type 2 diabetes. But I’m not fat. I HAVE fat, but I am not FAT.

The fat that encompasses a lot of my body does NOT define me.

Fuck that shit and anyone who says it does.

I’m way more than a fucking number on a scale or on the tag of my clothes. You hear?

I’m not fat, but I am MAMA to the coolest girl in the world, currently 6 (going on 20- except when she’s being 6). 

I’m not fat, but I am wife, daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, friend…

I’m not fat, but I am fanatical of Bryan Adams.

***

Back to today, right now: day 3 of no processed foods.

For a while now, I’ve been trying hard to eliminate processed foods and dairy and meat. I’ve been trying to live more plant-based. I’m not aiming to be a Vegan or Vegetarian or Skinny or whatever other fucking label there is for those who might be eating plant-based foods. I just want to be healthy. I want to rid my body of some of this excess fat that I have. I want to continue to feel good every day. I want to feel stronger and stronger with each passing day. I want my daughter to worry about things kids worry about and NOT about whether or not her mama can walk with her to the park or swim with her in the pool or die; I don’t want my kid to worry or wonder if I may die sometime soon.

So for the past two years (since being diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes- my rock bottom), I’ve been fighting to feel good and live a long, full life.

At one point, I lost nearly 70 pounds until I, once again, became lazy with what I was eating which then escalated into being lazy with activity too. This sadly resulted in me gaining 30 of those almost 70 pounds back.

Fortunately, my blood sugar levels with Diabetes II is okay and controlled. I do not have to take meds to control it; my food and activity control it. Like I said, my diagnosis two years ago was my rock bottom. I knew I was more likely to get it since I had gestational diabetes during pregnancy, but I was aghast when learning it was only a few years later that I would get it.

My relationship with food has been… my friend and confidante for a long, long time. Too long. And then I grew to eat for any reason: boredom, anxiety, anger, etc. Two years ago that all changed. Yes, I still may eat when I’m bored, but I’m very aware of it now.

And I’m aware of every single thing that I digest today, which is why I’m moving to a more plant-based diet.

I’m not a doctor. I’m not a specialist. I’ve only seen some food documentaries (Food, Inc; Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead [part 2 as well]; Forks over Knives, etc) and read a shitton of info out there on the web.

While a juicer I ordered is set to come in a few days, my intention is not to do a juice fast (nothing but juices). My intention is to flood myself with fresh fruits and vegetables every single day, particularly when I want something to eat outside of “meal time”. I’ll still be having oatmeal at breakfast time, a light lunch and dinner, too. I won’t be opposed to replacing meals with juices but my main goal right now is to eat primarily plant-based foods from herein out and I’m confident the juicer will help.

Time, and this blog, will tell how I do but I’m owning it dammit. This is all under MY control. MY choices. Because I am strong. Because I got me.

 

 

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