I’ve been concentrating on what kinds of foods I’ve been eating lately and trying to ensure I get PROTEIN FIRST as well as limit my carbs- especially sugars. I’ve also been setting a timer not to drink anything after my first bite of food when I do eat.

Honestly, it’s not so bad. The no drinking thing kind of is, but with a timer, it’s doable. I definitely want to drink but I’m practicing not to.

One day at a time.

I’m also trying my best to take small bites and chew chew chew. This is a little more difficult for me than protein first and no drinking for 30 minutes after first bite. I’ve heard and read that baby spoons help. And sitting on your hands after putting foods into your mouth. One lady at a support group I went to Saturday even went so far to suggest setting a timer for a minute or two after you take a bite of food so that you don’t take another bite until that time is up. This is mind boggling to me because OMG when I start eating I want to eat. I don’t want to chew forever and wait to take another bite. Just give me all of the food NOW.

But I know that with a new stomach, I just won’t be able to eat like that, nor should I even with this huge stomach I have now!

So I will continue to practice and be cognizant of what I’m eating and how I’m eating and hopefully with enough practice, it won’t be such a difficult task after surgery when I can eat real foods again.

On a similar note, I was at Marshall’s yesterday while the kiddo was at a birthday party, and I picked up reusable, tiny half cup containers with lids for after surgery. I also bought some tiny cute patterned bowls for after surgery too, as well as a new water bottle that I’m already using. It’s a RAW STEEL 30 ounce container that hold stuff cold for 24 or hot for 12.


I see the Pulmonologist in a couple of hours. After my appointment I’m to call the patient coordinator at the surgery center to let her know how it went and quite possibly may get a surgery date!! I’m so excited to change my life. I’m starting to really believe it’s going to all happen– I’ll be getting a new stomach, I’ll be eating much smaller portions, I’ll be getting more energy, I’ll be living – truly living!!




things I learned yesterday

  • Protein first from herein out. It’s imperative that I get at least 60 grams in a day. I don’t have a problem with that now, but may after surgery. So I’m going to start ensuring that things I’m eating now always have protein in it. And if I’m wanting something without protein, I’ll need to be sure to eat something else with protein at the same time. The nurse gave a great example yesterday of a patient who had lost a ton of weight and was feeling great, overall, but was so incredibly tired all the time. Turns out the patient was eating applesauce for lunch. It satisfied her because she didn’t drink for 30 minutes but there was no protein in the applesauce. Once the patient started adding unflavored protein powder to the applesauce (or had a piece of cheese in addition to the applesauce), she started feeling better.
  • No drinking 30 minutes after eating. It makes sense and it reverts back to my early childhood when my grandparents wouldn’t allow us a drink at the table. They lived through horrendous when food was a luxury and drinking something pushed that food down and made them more hungry. I need to start practicing this with every single meal. This is not an easy task for me because I absolutely love drinking water and do so all day, every day. I won’t stop drinking water, but I did find an app – Baritastic – that has a water timer on it so that you just quick press a button and you just don’t drink anything till the timer goes off. I will be practicing this every meal from now till (and after) surgery.
  • Eat like a baby after surgery. I think this was the biggest tip I got from yesterday’s session. When a baby is born, he drinks his mother’s milk or formula–liquids. That’s it for quite some time. Then he gets to try some purees, later some mashed foods, then soft, till finally he’s able to get introduced to regular foods. One at a time, you should introduce foods to a baby. The same should apply to a bariatric patient. Maybe not the duration of each food phase, but take your time with the phases and the new foods. I will have a new stomach. A much smaller, new stomach. I very well may not be able to eat the same kinds of foods I’m able to today. And I need to really stick by their guidelines with two weeks of liquids, two weeks of blended, two weeks of soft foods, etc. They’ve provided great examples for each category and I need to come to terms that this is the best for my new tummy and that, in time, I should be able to eat anything I want just in much smaller portions.
  • Take your vitamins forever. This is actually a fear of mine- becoming healthy with my weight but unhealthy because of not enough proper nutrition. That’s where the vitamins come in to play and my center provides a fantastic array of proper vitamins to take and when. Also, it’s imperative to get blood work done when the center requests it (I think it’s every three months the first year but I could be wrong) and every year thereafter. If going to a regular doctor, tell them you’ve have bariatric surgery so they can be sure to test everything properly.
  • Move your ass every day. I’m looking forward to this one, actually. It’s hard to be active when you’re carrying a lot of extra weight (I hate sweating), but I’m trying to walk more every day now and I know when the weight starts coming off, I’ll move more and I can’t wait. I’m not sure I’ll turn into a runner, but just parking father away and going for walks after dinner and to the park will be so much easier and doable and WILL become part of my every day like taking my vitamins and not drinking for 30 minutes after eating.


Ahh I’m getting super excited about all of this again! Taking care of me and being the best that I can is such an empowering experience and hopefully I can revert back to this if PMS or some other bullshit strikes.

Still no surgery date but hopefully that will come after next Monday’s cardiologist appointment.

Pre-surgery liquid diet: my plan in photos 

oooh fantastic stuff for the liquid phases!!


I wanted to post the pre-surgery liquid diet that I am doingfor anyone who might be researching weight loss surgery or interested in the process for supportingsomeone they know who might be going through it.

When I first started thinking about getting the surgery done I couldn’t find a lot of information on the specifics of this part of the diet.

Each surgeon and hospitalprescribes aslightly different version of this diet, but the most important goal of the liquid diet is the same:to shrink any fat that might be around your liver so that your surgeon can access your insides more easily.

My surgeon requires 2 weeks on a clear liquid diet before surgery. We also have to make sure we are getting between 80-100 grams of protein PER DAY. So here is my plan:

I decided to use bone broth because of the 7 grams of protein per serving…

View original post 416 more words

I’m feeling real good lately (as of this past weekend). Still no period since early September and I’m okay with that. But I’m not okay with the hellacious PMS I endured this entire month up till this weekend. Scary shit.


My eating has been so much better since Friday. Not perfect, but so much more cognizant…if that makes sense. I’m just trying super hard to eat protein first and chew chew chew. The chewing 30 times or whatnot isn’t so bad unless I’m starving. Then it’s hard and I definitely haven’t chewed the way I will have to for everything I ate this weekend.

Water is tricky. I’m a big water drinker. I love it and drink it all day long from the moment I wake up till bedtime. As a result I get up to pee a lot during the night. Like three times usually. This sucks but I love my water and I think my skin shows it. Not drinking for 30 minutes after eating is near impossible. I found an app- Baritastic- that has a timer and so many other fun little things to help the bariatric patient. It’s a fantastic (heh) tool from what I can tell. I’m currently waiting 30 minutes to drink something and holy hell on earth it’s all I can think of– drinking glorious water! But I’m trying to train myself now before I’m forced to do it all once surgery is scheduled.


I let my boss and HR know that I’ll probably be needing some time off before the end of the year. I didn’t tell them why- other than I’ll be having surgery. I have to fill out all this paperwork for work, as does a physician. Jesus the paperwork and jump hooping is never-ending, eh?


Tomorrow I have a two hour (or is it three?) bariatric nutritional class that I’m really looking forward to attending. I have so many questions that I’m hoping will be answered… like will I have to chew to smithereens for always and forever or is that just till my new stomach heals? Same thing with the no drinking 30 minutes after eating.  Also, I’m really intrigued by the vitamins thing. I do NOT want to find myself free from an abundance of fat a year from now only to be malnourished or lacking vitamins.



so uh, it was only a couple hours after my last post that the coordinator called me to let me know that insurance has approved the surgery.



now what?

well, now i still have several steps to take before getting an actual surgery date from the surgeon. the biggest and most important being a trip to the pulmonologist (PULM), which happens on Halloween of all freaking days. once the PULM clears me, i’m to let the surgeons office know and they will get back with me with a surgery date.


surely this should all (surgery) happen before year’s end, right?

omg i NEED this to happen before the end of the year so that i don’t have to go through all this shit again.


i’m getting excited again and with my PMS/PMDD symptoms leveling out, i’m hoping this gives me the fire to get going on eating more low carb.

the idea of this surgery giving me some permanence (as stated in this amazingly fabulous video regarding VSG) with weight loss is freaking invigorating, that’s for sure.


just stuff

Allegedly, I should hear back today if insurance is approving this surgery or not. I really do hope the coordinator follows through without me having to send another email. I hate feeling like a pest, but I also know they’re crazy busy and maybe a reminder is what is needed.


My PMS has alleviated for the most part despite no actual bleeding. I’m still very occasionally cramping, but nothing like I was. It’s just weird and kinda fucked up to feel so freaking horrific–bloating, soreness, cramping, cravings, extreme irritability, etc–for so many weeks and not get my period to end it. And frankly, if this is what menopause is like??!? I think I’d rather just get my fucking period the rest of my life.


I don’t know if it’s the PMS or lack of period or the waiting for insurance or a combo of it all, but I’m feeling really down lately. Dammit. I hate feeling like this. Like I just don’t give a shit about much of anything.

I’m at the point where I’m kind of hoping I get denied this surgery so I can just cancel all the other fucking appointments and tests I’m scheduled for (for example, I have to have an abdomen ultrasound in the late afternoon in a couple of weeks and will have to endure NOTHING to eat OR drink for 6 hours prior!!!) and just go back to living my old life as a fat ass trying to eat healthier to live longer but not being obsessive about it all.


These are the moments when I thank sweet baby jesus for my daughter. My goodness does she light up my life.


Still not sure if my insurance has approved the surgery so in the meantime I wait. Ever so patiently.

Uh huh, right!

While I wait, I’ve been trying to eat more like I would post-op: more protein, less shit/sugar/carbs. But it hasn’t been working so well.

At first I was telling myself that I was eating all the food because I could… because once I got surgery I couldn’t… because I deserve to. Truth of the matter is that I’ve been horrendously PMSing for weeks. WEEEEEEEKS. And there’s no sign of bleeding, which is a relief for me, in sight. I should’ve started my period the 9th- well over a week ago. Instead, I’ve just been crampy and irritable and uncomfortable and incredibly tired and short-tempered and hungry and feeling like I’m bleeding but not and and and, as a result, turning to food for comfort.

I absolutely eat all the foods when I’m PMSing. I try not to, I really do, but I feel so icky when I’m awake that food seems to be the only thing I can do (inhale it) to prevent me from losing my mind.

So what happens after surgery when PMS surfaces?!? I still have a couple Bariatric NUT classes to attend and a couple more doctor appointments but I’m not sure who to ask about this because PMS is a serious fucking thing to me. The Psych I met told me I should absolutely continue with taking the Prozac I take daily because of the severe PMS (PMDD) so of course I will (I turn very monster-like without it).

But how much longer do I have to endure these horrific weeks of PMS every single month?!