I got an official letter of approval for surgery from my insurance yesterday. Not a day too soon at one week out, eh?! Seriously though, reading the letter… it brought tears to my eyes. Good tears because this is really and truly going to happen and I won’t have to figure out a way to pay for it (other than my deductible)… but sad tears because, if I’m being completely honest with myself, I can’t believe it’s come to this.
In one week I’ll be having surgery… To remove most of my stomach... In the hopes that it helps me lose weight and keep it off once and for all… Because I’ve had a lifelong battle with food… Because I’ve used food as my crutch, my drug of choice for nearly all my life.
That’s sad. To me, that is a sad fact to swallow.
When I told my husband I got teary reading the letter and why he said, “You don’t have to go through with it.”
“I do!” I responded. “I mean, of course I don’t have to do anything, but if I don’t do this… it’s like I’m giving up.”
We’ve both struggled with obesity for probably the same amount of time. So I know he understands. But I also know he’s a wee worried for me, which I understand.
Still, it’s all good. I’m really excited. For the first time since I can remember, I truly feel like I will be able to succeed at living a healthy and active life.
My goodness I can’t wait!