one more week

I got an official letter of approval for surgery from my insurance yesterday. Not a day too soon at one week out, eh?! Seriously though, reading the letter… it brought tears to my eyes. Good tears because this is really and truly going to happen and I won’t have to figure out a way to pay for it (other than my deductible)… but sad tears because, if I’m being completely honest with myself, I can’t believe it’s come to this.

In one week I’ll be having surgery… To remove most of my stomach... In the hopes that it helps me lose weight and keep it off once and for all… Because I’ve had a lifelong battle with food… Because I’ve used food as my crutch, my drug of choice for nearly all my life.

That’s sad. To me, that is a sad fact to swallow.

When I told my husband I got teary reading the letter and why he said, “You don’t have to go through with it.”

“I do!” I responded. “I mean, of course I don’t have to do anything, but if I don’t do this… it’s like I’m giving up.”

We’ve both struggled with obesity for probably the same amount of time. So I know he understands. But I also know he’s a wee worried for me, which I understand.

Still, it’s all good. I’m really excited. For the first time since I can remember, I truly feel like I will be able to succeed at living a healthy and active life.

My goodness I can’t wait!

 

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3 thoughts on “one more week

  1. You will totally succeed at a healthy & active life! I was so caught up in the whole “my stomach is getting cut out thing” too…it feels so weird to think about. But I promise that will pass after surgery. My surgeon took pictures as it was being removed & printed them off for me lol

    Liked by 1 person

      • I didn’t actually ask but I guess my kids did lol (I have 3 boys ages 9, 5 & 3)…my husband was in the waiting area with the boys & I guess they asked the surgeon to see pictures when he came to speak with my husband after I got through the surgery & with my husbands ok he went and got the pics for them!! I was kind of grossed out when they first told me but having the pics of what happened inside has really helped me make the mind-body connection…because there are days when you question: did I really have surgery? Is anything really changed? My surgeon also went over the pictures with me in depth at my first check up. Its not for everyone, but having the visuals of my insides has been helpful for me personally. I’m not sure if every surgeon does this but it can’t hurt to ask??

        Liked by 1 person

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