almost December

This is the first time since having my sweet baby doll (7 years ago end of December) that we’re not sending out a family photo Christmas card. Truth is we just didn’t have time and money to get family pics done as we have in the past, so I just ordered cards with a cute pic of my girl on them. I like getting family pics of us but it’s just going to have to wait I guess.

And I’m sort of okay with all of this because I’ve been eating nonstop the past couple of months. Like, I feel gross most of the time because of the quantity and quality of the foods I’ve consumed. It’s like I’m completely out of control. I just keep telling myself, come this Friday (12/2), I’m on all liquids for two weeks prior to surgery so why not just eat all the foods while I can? But that’s bullshit because eating all the foods makes me feel like crap so why do I continue to do it??!?

It’s maddening. And a bit depressing.

I’ve gained weight and my clothes are getting smaller and smaller. My stomach is bloated so much I’m certain I look pregnant to some. But because I’m fat anyway, they just are probably unsure if I’m just fat or if I’m indeed pregnant.

Enough of that. I need to focus on the good stuff:

  • Come Friday, it’ll be all liquids for two weeks. How is this “good”? It’s going to force me to focus on the liquids and the surgery instead of leaving me to think of all the foods I won’t be able to stuff in my hole for a couple of months.
  • 18 freaking days till surgery, yo. This is good. Good. No matter the fact that every so often a wave of OH-SHIT-SHOULD-I-REALLY-DO-THIS-LIFE-ALTERING-PERMANENT-THING?! hits me.
  • I’ve been sleeping with a cpap now for 6 nights and it’s been GLORIOUS. I haven’t had that much difficulty adjusting to wearing the contraption and my sleep has been getting better and better. I’m awake and alert all day, every day. It’s freaking GLORIOUS.

 

24 … days

Something tells me that the next 24 days will fly by and seem more like 24 hours when it’s time to finally get the surgery.

I picked up my new sleeping buddy, the cpap. I’m exhausted after sitting there for an hour and a half listening to how to use it, why to use it, how to clean it, blah blah blah. But I’m also quite excited to use it as I freaking LOVE sleep.

I also picked up two weeks worth of bariatric protein shake powder for the two weeks prior to surgery when all I’m to consume is liquids.

I still have yet to hear back on when I’m to get my final pre-op stuff done.

The dude helping me with the cpap told me I was brave for going through with the weight loss surgery. It’s the second time I’ve heard “brave” in regards to getting the surgery. I’ve never once thought of it that way, but I like it.

Because it kind of is brave of me to do this.

I’m changing my life forever.

And for good.

done

I completed the overnight sleep study last night. Phew, I’m tired.

Seriously though, it was quite weird and awkward but it’s done. For now. I’m not even sure how many wires were hooked up to me… to the top of my head, my face, my chin, my back, my legs. Very weird. And awkward.

Then at about midnight, the tech came in to hook me up to the fun cpap thingie. Apparently I had quit breathing enough times, yay!

She said she’d start me on the nose piece only rather than the piece that covers your mouth (and nose?). A couple hours later she came in and hooked me up the nose piece that pushed oxygen through my nostrils rather than cup my nose like the other piece.

I didn’t really snore (gee, maybe because I didn’t really sleep??).

Apparently I should do well with either nose things and the option will be mine. She did say that this was the easiest of the cpap contraptions to have and I did well with the lowest setting of air.

Or something along those lines.

Before I left this morning, the tech did admit that I could probably have done without either breathing devises all together, but because of the surgery (36 days!!), she felt that they would’ve sent me back to do it again. I guess I was on the cusp of having sleep apnea and because of the surgery, it’s best to stay safe.

I get this and can appreciate it I guess.

So now I just wait for them to call me back to set me up with a machine.

Whoop whoop.

 

countdown

I’ve heard others say that the process will seem like it takes forever, but the reality is that it goes by pretty quickly. Kind of like my baby’s babyhood…some of those early days seemed to last forever, yet in a month and a half, my little baby is gonna be 7!

I’ve been thinking of WLS for a couple of years now but didn’t start really and truly doing research and spending hours during nearly every day looking into it until this year, especially mid-year, and just like that, surgery is scheduled for 12/16.

Surgery.

To remove most of my stomach.

It’s actually scheduled.

In just 39 DAYS!

Before that date I still have lots to do and “pass” but I’m pretty confident everything will go smoothly:

  • abdomen ultrasound is tomorrow afternoon (I’ll be voting first thing in the morning, no frets) (I sure hope this u/s is external because I just got my period after skipping a month)
  • overnight sleep study is Wednesday night (I was really upset when I initially learned they wanted me to do this but upon learning more, specifically that it’s done in a freaking private hotel room with my own bathroom etc, I realized it’s kind of like a night away!)
  • another behavioral class on Saturday (already attended the one I have to before surgery but what can it hurt to attend another?)
  • need to start my two-week pre-op ALL LIQUID diet 12/2, as well as be sure to get all pre-surgical testing (upper GI, chest x-ray, EKG, blood work up) completed
  • meet with the surgeon 12/12 before actual surgery date on 12/16

 

I have to say… it’s pretty crazy how different everyone’s WLS process is. Just the pre-surgery diet alone! Some don’t even have to diet, others have to for only a few days, others get to have actual (certain) food, and yet here I am having to do 2 weeks of all liquid. But I’m okay with that! I am. And I plan to follow all instructions both pre- and post-op in the hopes that I get the best results from all this.

Wow. I can’t believe in just 39 days, my life will forever be changed.

 

 

FUGH II

Well.

Hmph.

I think I may put off doing any more “hoops” for WLS till 2017.

I just found out that while my insurance will remain the same in 2017 (ours changes/updates/renews with every calendar year), any money I put toward my $1500 deductible will NOT carry over. According to the insurance company, they claim a lot of companies will allow money put toward deductibles in October thru December to carry over in to the first month or two of the new year but apparently mine doesn’t.

Thank god I checked with HR.

I’m still in the process of waiting on an email from the Sleep Study place. Once I get that email and fill out all the info they need, the same fucking info I’ve filled out at least half a dozen times now in the past two months, it will take them up to two weeks before getting back with me to schedule the fucking study. According to my insurance if the study is considered oupatient, which most apparently are, then I’m 80% covered– AFTER my deductible is met. I’ve only got a couple hundred dollars toward my deductible right now. So if I schedule this study this year, the money will go toward the deductible… but if the actual WLS doesn’t get scheduled till 2017, I have to start all over again with the money toward deductible. Right? I mean, that’s my understanding at least and I’ve talked to several different insurance reps in the past couple of months.

So yeah. I may hold off scheduling anything else till I know for sure whether or not his surgery can happen this year or not.

I guess. FUGH.