This is the first time since having my sweet baby doll (7 years ago end of December) that we’re not sending out a family photo Christmas card. Truth is we just didn’t have time and money to get family pics done as we have in the past, so I just ordered cards with a cute pic of my girl on them. I like getting family pics of us but it’s just going to have to wait I guess.
And I’m sort of okay with all of this because I’ve been eating nonstop the past couple of months. Like, I feel gross most of the time because of the quantity and quality of the foods I’ve consumed. It’s like I’m completely out of control. I just keep telling myself, come this Friday (12/2), I’m on all liquids for two weeks prior to surgery so why not just eat all the foods while I can? But that’s bullshit because eating all the foods makes me feel like crap so why do I continue to do it??!?
It’s maddening. And a bit depressing.
I’ve gained weight and my clothes are getting smaller and smaller. My stomach is bloated so much I’m certain I look pregnant to some. But because I’m fat anyway, they just are probably unsure if I’m just fat or if I’m indeed pregnant.
Enough of that. I need to focus on the good stuff:
- Come Friday, it’ll be all liquids for two weeks. How is this “good”? It’s going to force me to focus on the liquids and the surgery instead of leaving me to think of all the foods I won’t be able to stuff in my hole for a couple of months.
- 18 freaking days till surgery, yo. This is good. Good. No matter the fact that every so often a wave of OH-SHIT-SHOULD-I-REALLY-DO-THIS-LIFE-ALTERING-PERMANENT-THING?! hits me.
- I’ve been sleeping with a cpap now for 6 nights and it’s been GLORIOUS. I haven’t had that much difficulty adjusting to wearing the contraption and my sleep has been getting better and better. I’m awake and alert all day, every day. It’s freaking GLORIOUS.