two freaking weeks

That’s all I have till surgery: two freaking weeks. And it’s the holiday season so we all know that these two weeks are going to go by in a freaking flash.

WOW.

I start my liquid diet today (4-6 protein shakes & water; 700-900 calories/day). So far I’ve had about 30 ounces of water (I’m a big time water drinker) and one protein shake made with unsweetened almond milk, some peanut powder and instant decaf all mixed in. It was okay. I’m not at all fond of the aftertaste but I guess that’s what water is for.

I’m currently drinking a sugar free, decaffeinated French Vanilla Cafe instant coffee. I usually use this as a creamer but there wasn’t any decaf made (at work) and I wasn’t in the mood to make it. It tastes better used as a creamer. I miss real coffee.

In the fridge is 16 ounces of milk for up to two more shakes. I have my shaker bottle ready to go and I’ve portioned out 2 scoops of chocolate and 2 scoops of vanilla protein powder. I’m allowed honey, peanut butter, whatever I want to add to the shakes as long as they remain sugar free and liquid. Although honey isn’t exactly sugar free but it’s on the list so whatever.

I have two cans of soup here at work in case I absolutely feel the need for something more. As a last resort because I don’t believe soup, even strained, is allowed during this pre-op phase (though it is allowed post-op phase of the liquid diet), but I figure it’s better to have that, than to have nothing but the freaking vending machines, etc.

My mindset is great.

Actually I’m feeling pretty great all around despite having incredibly sore boobs due to PMS. I’m certain the incredible sleep I’m getting thanks to the cpap is a great help for these feelings.

I’m confident I will succeed at being  a rule follower these next two weeks.

That said, I’m a bit fearful for the weekend. I promised my dad we’d visit as it’s been well over a month since we’ve seen him. And he has no idea I’m doing any of this. And he’s not one to hold his tongue on anything. So I’m not sure what’s going to happen when it’s time to eat and I’m not eating anything. I’ll have to lie and say I’m not feeling well, but I don’t know if I can sell it because I’m an eater. I love ALL the foods. Even when ill, I love all the foods and never have a problem eating. Ugh, I’m not looking forward to this visit at all but such is life sometimes and I will prevail, dammit!

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24 … days

Something tells me that the next 24 days will fly by and seem more like 24 hours when it’s time to finally get the surgery.

I picked up my new sleeping buddy, the cpap. I’m exhausted after sitting there for an hour and a half listening to how to use it, why to use it, how to clean it, blah blah blah. But I’m also quite excited to use it as I freaking LOVE sleep.

I also picked up two weeks worth of bariatric protein shake powder for the two weeks prior to surgery when all I’m to consume is liquids.

I still have yet to hear back on when I’m to get my final pre-op stuff done.

The dude helping me with the cpap told me I was brave for going through with the weight loss surgery. It’s the second time I’ve heard “brave” in regards to getting the surgery. I’ve never once thought of it that way, but I like it.

Because it kind of is brave of me to do this.

I’m changing my life forever.

And for good.