5 weeks post-op

I love food so much. Even with a much smaller stomach, I still love all foods so freaking much. I’ve slowly introduced so many different foods and with absolutely no problems. None of it causes me any sort of negative issues. I’m not sure if this makes me happy or sad. On one hand, I’m elated because it means I’ll be able to eat anything, but on the other hand, I’m pissed because golly gee surgery truly DIDN’T fix my addiction.

WLS is a tool. You’ll hear this time and time again. It’s how you use that tool that matters most. And I really and truly need to own this. I know this all to be the way it is, yet I find that I’m sneaking in Hershey Kisses or french fries, etc. I won’t beat myself up about this though because I’m not feasting on these things and they’re not daily occurrences. But I do need to own up to it.

***

The best thing about WLS, for me, is the inability to eat a lot of whatever it is I’m eating… but, sadly, I find that I do get hungry often and I can and I do eat every couple of hours. I try to just drink more water, but unless it’s coffee or something more substantial than water, my stomach seems to be demanding more food and I generally give in and eat something.

This is problematic to me because I don’t feel like I’m utilizing the tool the best I can. ESPECIALLY THIS SOON OUT FROM SURGERY!

 

Saturday, for example, my sweets and a couple of her friends went ice skating. Then we all went out to eat to a burger and shake joint. Everyone ordered burgers, fries and shakes (my absolute favorite meal of all time!). I ordered a bowl of chili and a kid size shake. I drank maybe half the shake and had three small bites from the chili. I was beyond stuffed. I realize that a milkshake isn’t a good option after WLS, but the fact that I didn’t/couldn’t finish it made me happy as a clam. And the fact that I couldn’t finish the chili and had to take it home did, too… until a couple hours later when I ended up finishing the rest of the chili!

I guess my point to this is that I’m NOT digging the fact that I seem to be eating every couple of hours. I feel like I’m totally failing the gift that I consider WLS to be!

***

This morning I stopped at the grocery store before coming to work to stock up on foods for when I’m working. I bought cottage cheese and no sugar added fruit cups (breakfast), bananas (that I’ll mash up with some PB2 if I need something sweet), 80 calorie/12g protein yogurt cups (snacks), a ton of soups and tuna packets (lunches).

Wednesday I have my 6 week followup with the surgeon. I will tell him that I feel like I’m constantly eating despite getting full quickly and see what he says.

 

Advertisements

25 days post-op

I’m still here and still blending my foods and very much looking forward to the next stage of soft foods which I can start implementing on Friday: scrambled eggs, tuna, salmon, etc.

Friday is also going to be my first full day back to work in the office. I started working from home for 4 hours every morning last week. I’m so grateful that my boss is so cool regarding all of this because I didn’t want to eat away at all my sick time, yet work is a good 45 minutes each way away, and my stamina still isn’t quite up to par. Truthfully, I could probably use another week or so home, but I know I’ll be fine going back full time too. I just like being home and not interacting with people. 🙂

I talked to the surgeon’s office today and they want me to hold off on any activity that’s too strenuous until 6 weeks post-op. I was inquiring about incorporating yoga and the PA said I could try some stretching, but to be very mindful of any pain and to take things slow. In the meantime, she suggested more walking (which I haven’t been doing much of except for in the house back and forth) and a recumbent bike (which I actually have!). So now I need to get in the habit again with activity. Once I’m in the habit (in the past I’ve done it first thing in the AM or walked during breaks and at lunch during work), I’m consistent and I always feel so much better.

 

post op day 21

Three weeks ago I had a good portion of my stomach removed. And, as a result, today I simply cannot eat as much food as I used to, or that I may want to, or that my head may tell me I can. THANK GOD.

I meet with the nutritionist for the first time since before surgery this afternoon. I’m curious to hear what they have to say. The scale hasn’t moved much since moving from a liquid diet to a blended diet. I’m guessing it’s the carbs from my everyday eats of Farina and blended cream of soups that have potatoes and/or rice and/or noodles in them. My program requires two weeks of blended food before moving on to the next stage of soft foods. While this blended stage is going much better than the liquid, I’m very much looking forward to incorporating other foods WITHOUT having to blend them: eggs, tuna, cheeses, etc. I’m hoping to lessen my carb intake at that point.

I wonder if my nutritionist can tell me if I can do yoga yet or if I should ask the surgeon’s office. I didn’t think to ask about it at my first follow-up with the surgeon since I was only 10 days out and wasn’t really feeling the energy to do much of anything. But I’m definitely itching to do something more these days and the sub zero temps has kept me inside. Plus I’m back to working part-time (from home). But I love me some yoga and hope to start doing that again soon.

Tomorrow I’ll be going to a bariatrics support group meeting. It’ll be my third meeting but my first post-op. Yay!

Happy New Year!

Post op day 16.

I’m having no troubles adding blended foods into my diet. For dinner yesterday, I made the infamous Ricotta Bake from Eggface. It was FANTASTIC. Wow!! I was really surprised that I enjoyed it so much because I’m generally not a big fan of ricotta- unless it’s stuffed inside a crispy canolli shell. 😀

I’m also enjoying Farina. A lot. I’ve always been a big fan of Farina and oatmeal, so I knew incorporating these back into my diet wouldn’t be a problem.

The only thing is… I get STUFFED after three bites. I guess I really did get sleeved after all eh? Haha I’m sort of kidding. Of course I know I had the surgery but I was sooo hungry during the liquid diet stages, and I’ve been feeling so good, that I was beginning to wonder if the sleeve really happened. And now I know for sure because becoming absolutely stuffed after a couple of spoonfuls of Farina or Ricotta Bake is something that NEVER would’ve been possible prior to this.

That said, I’m finding it difficult to accurately track my nutrients intake. I use and love MyFitnessPal so I’ll put everything in there, but it’s hard to determine how to track three bites of a full serving size. Oh the woes of WLS eh?  What I’ve been doing so far is basically eating what I can and then, when feeling hungry again, continuing on with that same meal until it’s mostly all gone. So my diary looks like I’m having 300 calories in one sitting, but really, that 300 calories is spread in like 5 hours of time.

two weeks post-op

On one hand, the time has dragged. On the other, it went by in a flash.

My six incisions look better each day. The biggest one, about two inches wide, just above my belly button is finally unbruised. Man, that was looking hairy for a while. Now I just need the bruises from the blood thinner shots to go the ef away. I haven’t had any itching or oozing or anything. In fact, a couple of the incisions were so small, you can barely notice them.

I’m sipping on some blended cream of chicken and rice soup to which I added some bone broth to thin out a bit. It’s fucking delicious. I also added a scoop of unflavored Genepro protein powder for more protein. I’m having absolutely no problem getting enough protein in. 90+ grams every day! All thanks to the unflavored PP because man alive, those flavors from Bariatrics Advantage that I had to use the past month were just too gag me.

Calorie intake has been about 500 a day. Never in all my life did I think I would be saying I’m living on 500 calories a day. But I am. Somehow. This is how I’m dropping the weight so fast, I know. It’s also why I’m taking vitamins and such. It’s why I had the surgery to remove most of my stomach–to make it “easier” to consume fewer calories. I get all this. But what I don’t entirely understand is when/if I should be consuming more. My first follow-up appointment with the NUT is next Friday. I’m hoping to learn more then. In the meantime, I’ll go by the instructions I was given: week 2 & 3 = 4-6 meals a day of blended foods of which I can now include cooked vegetables! Oh my am I excited. Applesauce, mashed potatoes…….. YUMMMMMMMM

Numbers so far… I’m down 24 pounds since starting the pre-op liquid diet on 12/2 & 14 pounds since surgery two weeks ago today. My husband calls me Skinny and tells me nearly every day he can see me getting smaller and smaller. I’m no longer popping out of my bra and shirts that used to be tight aren’t anymore. I don’t really care about the number on the scale- never really have. For me it’s about how I’m feeling and right now, I’m feeling pretty great… I just wish I didn’t get so tired so quickly. But hopefully that will change with the addition of more calories.

 

the big follow-up to VSG post

Nearly a week out and finally updating.

Friday 12/16, Day of-

went fine until I woke up.

Wow that wasn’t a whole lotta fun waking up to people smiling at me and looking at me and feeling like what a newborn might feel upon its birth. It was strange. What was stranger was my incredible desire to pee.

The nurse slid a bedpan under me after telling her multiple times that I really did need to pee. My mom was there. She said she just got there as I was waking. I believe that’s what I remember. I was really out of it. My husband was not there; he had a job interview probably at the same time I was coming out of surgery so I knew he might not be there and that was okay.

The bedpan stayed with me for so long (I sincerely had to peeeeeeee), that when the nurse finally removed it, she had to peel it off of my ass. Fun times. Seriously, I was so stoned, what did I care?

I kept telling my mom to go home I was incredibly nauseated and thirsty. My throat didn’t hurt so much as it was just dry. Like a fucking bone. Please can I have some ice chips I begged. But one ice chip fed to me from a spoon just wasn’t enough. It made it worse My throat felt like it was closing and between that and the nausea, holy hell it was hard.

All I could really do was try to focus on breathing. I wasn’t in any real pain or anything. Just stoned and so incredibly dry and nauseated.

There was talk of a hernia repair from some of the visitors. I was assured everything went well and looked great.

Finally a room became open and they wheeled me into an elevator and into a private room. Before even getting all the way into the room, I asked to pee again. This time they let me get up and use the actual bathroom. No more bedpan, hoorah.

I sat on that toilet for what seemed like hours. I’m sure it was probably minutes but people kept checking in on me and I kept apologizing and telling them the pee wouldn’t stop coming. Not fast, but I kept having to pee.

It was fucking crazy, really.

At one point the nurse finally came in and told me that she thought it was time to get up and get into the bed, that I was probably done urinating. When I stood and she saw the pee in the cup, she wasn’t shy in her amazement in all that there truly was.

Everyone kept commenting on how they couldn’t believe I was walking already- just hours from surgery. It’s not that I was walking laps, I was just walking to pee and walking back to the bed, but okay.

My mom stuck around forever. My husband finally showed up. My baby girl was with neighbors eating dinner so it had been a good six hours since surgery. It was snowing out. Pretty badly apparently.

I finally convinced my mom to leave. She lives an hour away. We said I Love You, literally, to each for the first time that I can remember.

My husband stuck around for a bit longer before I convinced him to leave too. I just wanted not to puke, I just wanted some moisture in my mouth, I just wanted to sleep.

I’m not sure how many times I called the poor night nurse to help me go pee that night, but every single time, she came and helped me up and to the bathroom and was pretty impressed with all that I was peeing.

It stunk (the pee).

Saturday 12/17, Day 1 post op-

There wasn’t enough ice chips in the world to satiate me, and it’s all I was allowed until my Upper GI.

I was still pretty out of it and in all honesty, was wondering why everyone that came in and out of my room was so fucking happy and … nice. All I could think was how dry I was and how sick I was to my stomach and all they could do was smile and be positive and supportive and tell me how well I was doing. How great it was that I was getting out of bed so much. How the nausea would stop as soon as I could get some clear liquids in after the GI test. How everything went well.

Finally at the GI test the doctor told me to drink the thick chalky shit and I took a sip and wanted to hurl and he said for me to gulp it and all I could think was how different that was to all the fucking SIPPING I remember being bombarded with but whatever. I gulped to get it down.

Everything looked great supposedly and I was able to go back to my room and finally order room service. I opted for an apple juice and a sugar free popsicle, alongside a full cup of ice chips.

I believe I consumed an ounce of apple juice and one tiny bit of the popsicle before I had to call it quits.

I felt hungry. I wanted to take in more. But no way could I.

I was so fucking sick to my stomach.

The ice chips saved me. As did the morphine drip.

My husband and kid showed up in the afternoon and hung out with me for several hours. I mostly napped sitting up in the chair and sucked on ice chips. My baby girl looked terrified when they walked in the room. I tried to look more alive when I heard them coming in, but I don’t think I fooled her. She asked why I wouldn’t come home that day and I told her that the surgeon just wanted to make sure everything was absolutely perfect before I do. I asked her to pick me up the next day and she said she would.

I climbed into bed and slapped on my cpap at about 7 that night. I was up every couple of hours to pee, otherwise it went well.

Sunday 12/18, Day 2 Post op-

Everybody kept saying “everyday will get better and better”. Day 2 was when the nausea finally subsided dramatically. I enjoyed a couple ounces of decaf tea and some apple juice for breakfast. For lunch I had what was left. I was off the morphine. I was unhooked from the IV so I could shower. It was pretty fucking glorious.

At about 4:30 I finally left the hospital.

***

The surgeon stopped by a couple times during my 2 night, 3 day stay at the hospital. He was always very positive and bright and told me how well everything went. Turned out I did have a stomach hernia that needed repairing, but he said it wasn’t a big deal and added only a couple minutes onto the surgery. He told me I had six incisions and that the one big one, where the stomach was pulled from, was bruised but thought it looked well.

He commented that usually when the stomach comes out, it comes out in pieces, which, he assured me after seeing the look of horror on my face, that that was completely normal and okay. But that for me, the stomach came out in one piece. He seemed impressed by that. Heh.

He also commented that all Sleeves are the same, but that (for whatever reason) mine looked exceptionally nice.

***

Today, day 6 pre-op, and I’m doing quite well. I’m super tired and sleeping like ass. I’ve got this stupid cough that is finally subsiding but man those first several days of coughing fits after surgery was NOT FUN. Even though I just had my period two weeks ago, I was lucky enough to get it again yesterday. I don’t have any cramping or real PMS symptoms that I normally do so I’m not complaining.

I’m doing quite well with following all the rules. I’m getting in all my water and protein. I’m a lucky girl I guess because really, other than sleeping like ass every single night, I have no complaints.

I will say that time in the hospital was spent a lot in my head. I didn’t watch any tv. I couldn’t read. I couldn’t really do anything but concentrate on not puking. And I was often left wondering if I hadn’t made a huge mistake.

But less than a week out and I know I didn’t make a mistake. This was my time. This IS my time. This is me. And I got me. I really truly got me.

 

 

 

two freaking weeks

That’s all I have till surgery: two freaking weeks. And it’s the holiday season so we all know that these two weeks are going to go by in a freaking flash.

WOW.

I start my liquid diet today (4-6 protein shakes & water; 700-900 calories/day). So far I’ve had about 30 ounces of water (I’m a big time water drinker) and one protein shake made with unsweetened almond milk, some peanut powder and instant decaf all mixed in. It was okay. I’m not at all fond of the aftertaste but I guess that’s what water is for.

I’m currently drinking a sugar free, decaffeinated French Vanilla Cafe instant coffee. I usually use this as a creamer but there wasn’t any decaf made (at work) and I wasn’t in the mood to make it. It tastes better used as a creamer. I miss real coffee.

In the fridge is 16 ounces of milk for up to two more shakes. I have my shaker bottle ready to go and I’ve portioned out 2 scoops of chocolate and 2 scoops of vanilla protein powder. I’m allowed honey, peanut butter, whatever I want to add to the shakes as long as they remain sugar free and liquid. Although honey isn’t exactly sugar free but it’s on the list so whatever.

I have two cans of soup here at work in case I absolutely feel the need for something more. As a last resort because I don’t believe soup, even strained, is allowed during this pre-op phase (though it is allowed post-op phase of the liquid diet), but I figure it’s better to have that, than to have nothing but the freaking vending machines, etc.

My mindset is great.

Actually I’m feeling pretty great all around despite having incredibly sore boobs due to PMS. I’m certain the incredible sleep I’m getting thanks to the cpap is a great help for these feelings.

I’m confident I will succeed at being  a rule follower these next two weeks.

That said, I’m a bit fearful for the weekend. I promised my dad we’d visit as it’s been well over a month since we’ve seen him. And he has no idea I’m doing any of this. And he’s not one to hold his tongue on anything. So I’m not sure what’s going to happen when it’s time to eat and I’m not eating anything. I’ll have to lie and say I’m not feeling well, but I don’t know if I can sell it because I’m an eater. I love ALL the foods. Even when ill, I love all the foods and never have a problem eating. Ugh, I’m not looking forward to this visit at all but such is life sometimes and I will prevail, dammit!