8 weeks post op

eight freaking weeks, what?!??!

been reading a book called EAT WHAT YOU LOVE LOVE WHAT YOU EAT by Dr. Michele May. she has a website AM I HUNGRY? too. i’m finding it fascinating. and it’s been super helpful so far this week with my eating… whenever i think i’m hungry, i just ask myself if i really am and if i am, i eat; if i’m not, i don’t.

sounds simple, i know. I KNOW. but, it’s helped me eat only when i’ve been truly hungry this week.

for once, i feel like i’m in charge instead of just being in control… and i know my period is coming so being able to feel like this and eat like this during PMS is monumental.

***

things i’m loving this week: my nuwave air fryer and green giant broccoli tots, as well as this raw almond flour cookie dough bites that i make (1 cup almond flour, 2 tablespoon cookie butter ((or peanut butter)), 1 tablespoon applesauce, 2-3 tablespoon mini choc chips all mixed together and rolled into balls… next time i’ll add some Bipro unflavored protein powder for more added protein).

 

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post op day 52

I’m approaching two months since VSG and I can honestly say that my life is pretty much back to normal as far as recovering from surgery and being used to having a much smaller stomach.

For the most part.

There are still moments when I look at food or think of food and get a bit sad that I can’t eat everything (I want or) I thought I could, but more than not, I’m truly digging eating such small portions. And I’m basically eating whatever, too: I’ve had rice, pasta, salad; I’ve had sweets, salts, sours. I’ve basically had it all and am finding that my pouch is pretty tolerant of everything.

From all that I’ve read, I’m absolutely counting my blessings on this one.

That said, the number on the scale isn’t moving much at all. I’m guessing that is because the scale is a motherfucker. Heh, in all seriousness (it IS a mofo but I digress), I’m guessing it’s because my calorie count is higher than most post-op bariatric patients. Especially this early out… I’m eating 1000 to 1200 calories every day. I just don’t have a problem getting anything in. In fact, there has been a day or two where I’ve approached (if not surpassed!!!) 1500 calories! And while that amount is NOT a lot for a normal adult, it IS a lot for a bariatric patient. At least as far as I can tell from all that I read online.

Here’s the thing about this: I’m totally OK with these numbers- both on the scale and those that I’m digesting.

Am I happy the scale isn’t moving and hasn’t moved in weeks? No. Am I going to harp on this ditty? Fuck no.

MY WORTH IS WAY MORE THAN A NUMBER ON A SCALE OR MY PANTS!

I’ll just continue to plan meals and focus on PROTEIN FIRST and trying to get more activity in my day and soon, I’m certain, I’ll be complaining that nothing fits anymore (it’ll all be too big of course).

 

 

43 days post op

Eating real food… whoa it’s filling!

Last night I had chicken salad I made the night before (chopped up rotisserie chicken, chopped up celery, dressing including mayo, non fat greek yogurt, seasonsings)  that I was really looking forward to eating all day. I accidentally ate too much. And by that I mean, I didn’t really believe I was full but holy mother of all there is, I was SO full. I’m not sure how I didn’t end up puking but I didn’t. Instead, the food just sat there right below my throat. I guess all the food (and I swear it wasn’t more than 1/4 cup) just filled my tiny tummy to the point that it got backed up into my esophagus? That’s how it felt at least.

And here I am now again in the same situation after eating some chicken fried rice(d veggies). No real rice involved– just rice sized veggies and chicken and soy sauce. Again, I don’t think I’ve eaten more than a 1/4 cup of food and BAM the food is just backed up again. It feels like I could hurl at any second, but I don’t think I will, thankfully.

I guess I really DID have WLS after all. Seriously, most of the time, I just FEEL so normal that I guess I forget that I just cannot eat all that much. I’ve GOT to start paying more attention to what I’m eating and how much of it because I do not like this feeling of wanting to vomit.

That said, this week I’ve been fabulous with my food choices. Limited carbs, lots of protein (first- always first!!), tons of water. I haven’t stepped on the scale much and that’s okay… for me, it’s about how I feel and I’m feeling damn good (when I’m not stuffed to the max) and my clothes are getting bigger and bigger on me! 🙂

I haven’t really had anyone comment yet about if I’m losing weight, but I’m  okay with that, too. Only a very select few people even know I had the surgery, so at least when/if I get comments, they’ll be legit. Besides, my coworkers and such have seen me lose a LOT of weight before and gain it back more than once now in the near 15 years I’ve worked here… so I’m guessing for any of them to comment this time, it will take a significant amount lost and maintained for a while.

Good thing I didn’t have VSG for other people’s perception of me eh.

 

6 weeks (tomorrow)!

I met with the PA yesterday for my 6 week (tomorrow) follow-up appointment. As of yesterday’s weigh in at the office, I’m 23 pounds down since day of surgery, 31 since pre-op diet (41.3 BMI vs 47.3).

The best news, to me, is that I officially get to stop crushing pills (which was probably the worst thing about this whole experience for me) (I haven’t crushed them in a week already) and start eating everything and doing anything fitness wise too!

The PA said that they want me now to try and just have three meals a day and we talked a bit about how I feel like I’m constantly eating/hungry. She said I need to forget about all the smooth SLIDER foods and just eat real, high in protein food now: eggs, cheese, lean meats. She claims this will keep me much fuller for much longer and it makes total sense. Protein first (always), then veggies and fruit. Limit carbs.

Basically, it’s time to start officially living life normally again. Sounds good to me!

I scheduled another appointment for my three month follow-up end of March. Two weeks prior to that I’ll have my blood tested so they can go over the results at the follow-up. I’m already taking only half the dose of the pill I’m on for high blood pressure (my BP has been awesomely “normal” for ages). Hopefully I can quit taking it all together, as well as quit taking the lowest dose I’m on for high cholesterol.

The only thing that’s left is to start committing to exercising. I have no freaking excuses anymore not to do something more than just walk as much throughout the day as I can. Yeah, I park far away on purpose and get up at least once an hour if not more, but I need to do more. For my mind and my body.

5 weeks post-op

I love food so much. Even with a much smaller stomach, I still love all foods so freaking much. I’ve slowly introduced so many different foods and with absolutely no problems. None of it causes me any sort of negative issues. I’m not sure if this makes me happy or sad. On one hand, I’m elated because it means I’ll be able to eat anything, but on the other hand, I’m pissed because golly gee surgery truly DIDN’T fix my addiction.

WLS is a tool. You’ll hear this time and time again. It’s how you use that tool that matters most. And I really and truly need to own this. I know this all to be the way it is, yet I find that I’m sneaking in Hershey Kisses or french fries, etc. I won’t beat myself up about this though because I’m not feasting on these things and they’re not daily occurrences. But I do need to own up to it.

***

The best thing about WLS, for me, is the inability to eat a lot of whatever it is I’m eating… but, sadly, I find that I do get hungry often and I can and I do eat every couple of hours. I try to just drink more water, but unless it’s coffee or something more substantial than water, my stomach seems to be demanding more food and I generally give in and eat something.

This is problematic to me because I don’t feel like I’m utilizing the tool the best I can. ESPECIALLY THIS SOON OUT FROM SURGERY!

 

Saturday, for example, my sweets and a couple of her friends went ice skating. Then we all went out to eat to a burger and shake joint. Everyone ordered burgers, fries and shakes (my absolute favorite meal of all time!). I ordered a bowl of chili and a kid size shake. I drank maybe half the shake and had three small bites from the chili. I was beyond stuffed. I realize that a milkshake isn’t a good option after WLS, but the fact that I didn’t/couldn’t finish it made me happy as a clam. And the fact that I couldn’t finish the chili and had to take it home did, too… until a couple hours later when I ended up finishing the rest of the chili!

I guess my point to this is that I’m NOT digging the fact that I seem to be eating every couple of hours. I feel like I’m totally failing the gift that I consider WLS to be!

***

This morning I stopped at the grocery store before coming to work to stock up on foods for when I’m working. I bought cottage cheese and no sugar added fruit cups (breakfast), bananas (that I’ll mash up with some PB2 if I need something sweet), 80 calorie/12g protein yogurt cups (snacks), a ton of soups and tuna packets (lunches).

Wednesday I have my 6 week followup with the surgeon. I will tell him that I feel like I’m constantly eating despite getting full quickly and see what he says.

 

32 days post-op

I’ve been eating more soft solids now for several days and, as promised, I’m feeling much more full when eating. I can’t even truly compute this to be honest. Yesterday, for example, we went for arancini (Italian rice balls). In the past I’d have no problem putting away two of these delicious bad boys (it’s a breaded and fried big ball of rice with something in the center– generally meat sauce and peas but my favorite is spinach and ricotta), but yesterday could only eat HALF–of ONE. And I feel like I really pushed it eating half as I was S-T-U-F-F-E-D after.

When I was finished with my half, I looked on at amazement at the other half just sitting there on my plate. My eyes and head wanted to keep eating but there was no way I could. And I can’t even begin to express how INCREDIBLE this is to me.

All of my life I’ve been stuffing food into my pie hole and not really being satisfied no matter what I ate, no matter how much I ate, now matter how often I ate. But now? Now?! Now that I’ve been Sleeved, I finally feel normal. Granted I’m eating WAY less than everyone else around me, including my 7 year old, but the fact that I absolutely have to stop eating makes me feel more normal some how.

Is this just the honeymoon phase of being sleeved? Or is this my new normal?

Hell, is this real life?!?

That all being said, I do start getting hungry just two hours after eating something…even if I stuff myself. I try drinking more water or having a decaf coffee or something, but I usually have to give in and eat. But I’m eating excellent things like cottage cheese with a little fruit, or an egg muffin (egg, cheese, kale, turkey sausage baked in muffin tins) or two for the most part.

Still need to get back into a routine of being more active.

post op day 21

Three weeks ago I had a good portion of my stomach removed. And, as a result, today I simply cannot eat as much food as I used to, or that I may want to, or that my head may tell me I can. THANK GOD.

I meet with the nutritionist for the first time since before surgery this afternoon. I’m curious to hear what they have to say. The scale hasn’t moved much since moving from a liquid diet to a blended diet. I’m guessing it’s the carbs from my everyday eats of Farina and blended cream of soups that have potatoes and/or rice and/or noodles in them. My program requires two weeks of blended food before moving on to the next stage of soft foods. While this blended stage is going much better than the liquid, I’m very much looking forward to incorporating other foods WITHOUT having to blend them: eggs, tuna, cheeses, etc. I’m hoping to lessen my carb intake at that point.

I wonder if my nutritionist can tell me if I can do yoga yet or if I should ask the surgeon’s office. I didn’t think to ask about it at my first follow-up with the surgeon since I was only 10 days out and wasn’t really feeling the energy to do much of anything. But I’m definitely itching to do something more these days and the sub zero temps has kept me inside. Plus I’m back to working part-time (from home). But I love me some yoga and hope to start doing that again soon.

Tomorrow I’ll be going to a bariatrics support group meeting. It’ll be my third meeting but my first post-op. Yay!