been reading a book called EAT WHAT YOU LOVE LOVE WHAT YOU EAT by Dr. Michele May. she has a website AM I HUNGRY? too. i’m finding it fascinating. and it’s been super helpful so far this week with my eating… whenever i think i’m hungry, i just ask myself if i really am and if i am, i eat; if i’m not, i don’t.
sounds simple, i know. I KNOW. but, it’s helped me eat only when i’ve been truly hungry this week.
for once, i feel like i’m in charge instead of just being in control… and i know my period is coming so being able to feel like this and eat like this during PMS is monumental.
things i’m loving this week: my nuwave air fryer and green giant broccoli tots, as well as this raw almond flour cookie dough bites that i make (1 cup almond flour, 2 tablespoon cookie butter ((or peanut butter)), 1 tablespoon applesauce, 2-3 tablespoon mini choc chips all mixed together and rolled into balls… next time i’ll add some Bipro unflavored protein powder for more added protein).
I’m still here and still blending my foods and very much looking forward to the next stage of soft foods which I can start implementing on Friday: scrambled eggs, tuna, salmon, etc.
Friday is also going to be my first full day back to work in the office. I started working from home for 4 hours every morning last week. I’m so grateful that my boss is so cool regarding all of this because I didn’t want to eat away at all my sick time, yet work is a good 45 minutes each way away, and my stamina still isn’t quite up to par. Truthfully, I could probably use another week or so home, but I know I’ll be fine going back full time too. I just like being home and not interacting with people. 🙂
I talked to the surgeon’s office today and they want me to hold off on any activity that’s too strenuous until 6 weeks post-op. I was inquiring about incorporating yoga and the PA said I could try some stretching, but to be very mindful of any pain and to take things slow. In the meantime, she suggested more walking (which I haven’t been doing much of except for in the house back and forth) and a recumbent bike (which I actually have!). So now I need to get in the habit again with activity. Once I’m in the habit (in the past I’ve done it first thing in the AM or walked during breaks and at lunch during work), I’m consistent and I always feel so much better.
On one hand, the time has dragged. On the other, it went by in a flash.
My six incisions look better each day. The biggest one, about two inches wide, just above my belly button is finally unbruised. Man, that was looking hairy for a while. Now I just need the bruises from the blood thinner shots to go the ef away. I haven’t had any itching or oozing or anything. In fact, a couple of the incisions were so small, you can barely notice them.
I’m sipping on some blended cream of chicken and rice soup to which I added some bone broth to thin out a bit. It’s fucking delicious. I also added a scoop of unflavored Genepro protein powder for more protein. I’m having absolutely no problem getting enough protein in. 90+ grams every day! All thanks to the unflavored PP because man alive, those flavors from Bariatrics Advantage that I had to use the past month were just too gag me.
Calorie intake has been about 500 a day. Never in all my life did I think I would be saying I’m living on 500 calories a day. But I am. Somehow. This is how I’m dropping the weight so fast, I know. It’s also why I’m taking vitamins and such. It’s why I had the surgery to remove most of my stomach–to make it “easier” to consume fewer calories. I get all this. But what I don’t entirely understand is when/if I should be consuming more. My first follow-up appointment with the NUT is next Friday. I’m hoping to learn more then. In the meantime, I’ll go by the instructions I was given: week 2 & 3 = 4-6 meals a day of blended foods of which I can now include cooked vegetables! Oh my am I excited. Applesauce, mashed potatoes…….. YUMMMMMMMM
Numbers so far… I’m down 24 pounds since starting the pre-op liquid diet on 12/2 & 14 pounds since surgery two weeks ago today. My husband calls me Skinny and tells me nearly every day he can see me getting smaller and smaller. I’m no longer popping out of my bra and shirts that used to be tight aren’t anymore. I don’t really care about the number on the scale- never really have. For me it’s about how I’m feeling and right now, I’m feeling pretty great… I just wish I didn’t get so tired so quickly. But hopefully that will change with the addition of more calories.
I just wrote two hand-written letters: one to my daughter, one to my husband.
Writing the one to my girl wasn’t so difficult because I just essentially told her how freaking much I love and adore her. Easy peasy.
The one for my husband was more difficult. I cried. Hard.
I’m terrified of dying on Friday during surgery.
This whole time I’ve been pretty damn excited about all of this, about the prospect of being able to get a second chance at living a HEALTHY and happy and active life and then, all of sudden this morning, the fear of dying crept in.
I’m not afraid of the actual surgery; I’m actually excited about that!
But being this close to both Christmas and my sweet doll’s 7th birthday is freaking me out because if I die, how horrifying that would be for her, for my husband?!! For the rest of their lives, they’d always have that reminder of me passing away just before Christmas the year our sweet girl turned 7. And my sweet girl?! OMG just the thought of not experiencing what’s to come for her sickens me. : (
So I wrote them letters telling them how much I love them and how thankful I am for them because if either of them thought, for one second, I felt any differently… poop!
So this liquid diet thing is making it seem like things are moving so slowly but the reality is that I’M HAVING SURGERY NEXT FRIDAY. That’s only 9 days away!
Single digits, yo!
I think this realization of it being literally a matter of days now has kind of put me into a panic mode.
Should I start wrapping my kids holiday and birthday presents now, pre-surgery, or will I have the energy to do so post-op?
OMG this is the last weekend I can do anything really holiday fun with my girl since next weekend I’ll be in the hospital and the weekend after that is Christmas already!
I’ll be okay on my own at home the week following surgery leading up to Christmas, right? I don’t need my husband to stay home or someone to take care of me, right?!
Will I be okay to drive the week after surgery leading up to Christmas? We have so much going on in other areas in our lives that could really benefit from me being able to drive somewhere that week. Not too far and not to do anything strenuous but, am I crazy to think this will all be possible to do?